Wednesday, July 14, 2010
blogged @9:36 PM
After so many years, i've finally stretched out my hand and asking people for help. The one who helped me the most, is my kin brother. Of cos, not to forget those good friends of mine who showed lots of concern for me. I've always feel like i am living in agony, but afraid to let anyone know about it becos i don wan them to worry and also don wan to be a burden to them. Well, at least for now, i can type out this post without crying and feeling much of the pain in me.
All these years, I've been in my comfort zone, i knew that i am not living happily but i did nth abt it. I don wan to get out of the zone and make changes to it. However, as years goes by, the suicidal thoughts kept coming back to me constantly, esp when i am alone. I really don noe how to make others to understand what i am going thru, no idea how to bring my message across to people ard me. Just like what babe had said earlier on, it is like there's a program in me, when i start hanging out with my friends or who ever it is, i will just behave as the usual "me". Don't understand myself at times.
Thanks to those who show concerns to me. And thanks to those who cried with me when i am down, at least it gave me one more reason to live on, and tt was becos i am impt to them. Not to forget my brother, he helped me really alot. <3 Hugs, brother!
